Behaviour and parenting

It is a normal part of development for children to push the boundaries and have temper tantrums. This helps children learn what is expected of them, how to resolve problems, to regulate their emotions and learn that they sometimes they need to wait for things and wishes may not always be met. 

Temper tantrums and emotional outbursts are not uncommon for reception age children whilst adjusting to school life, tiredness, transitions, hunger and thirst and emerging needs can contribute to outbursts. How can you as a parent support your child during this stage of your child’s development: 

• Stay calm, be firm and consistent in the rules and boundaries you set –set realistic rules and boundaries so you and your child are not set up to fail.  Children thrive on positive praise.
  
  
• Focus on praising the behaviour you want; try to ignore the behaviour you don’t want if safe to do so. Children need to understand that there are consequences to their actions - always follow through the consequences you have set i.e if have said no screen time remove devices and turn off the TV or remove favourite toy for an hour or the rest of the day.  Children live in the moment so praise and consequences need to be immediate not later in the day or next day. 
  
  
• Allow your child to work through a temper tantrum and be there to reassure, comfort, acknowledge and validate their feelings and talk about the tantrum and what has upset them once they have calmed down. 
  
  
• Have a good daily and night time routine -children thrive on routine, this makes children feel secure and they know what is expected of them.  Set aside 15 minutes 2-3 times a week for individual playtime with you – put away phones, devices and TV so that you are both focussed on the time together.
  
  
• Listen to your child — Children can get frustrated if they feel they are not being listened to or understood — set aside time each day for a catch up.

Remember changes that you make will take time and consistency to establish positive behaviours

More resources

• NSPCC – Positive parenting: learning: https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/research-resources/leaflets/positive-parenting

• Family lives: www.familylives.org.uk

• Sutton Family Hubs: https://suttoninformationhub.org.uk/pages/family-hubs

• Sutton Parenting Support: https://suttoninformationhub.org.uk/pages/parenting-support